I Just Wish It Isn't So

(originally posted June 19, 2014)

Parents are visiting us in a few days.

I asked mom to get me something.
She told me over the phone that she has bought a lot.
Then I told her it is for the in-laws.
She then became reluctant.
I didn't even ask for a lot.
It's just a nice gesture, since they will be here.

Why does it have to be so difficult.
To people she likes, she gives freely, and most times in abundance.
Others, it is done with drudgery, and I have to hear about it non-stop.
The cost, compared to what she gives to others, is minimal.
Yet she never makes the process easy.
I will always hear about how much she doesn't want to give,
how they don't deserve it,
what they have done in the past,
how she has to remember this deed or that deed in order to push herself,
but she does it, because I asked.

There has been situations similar to this one.
No matter how I or we complain about it, it is no use.
She always wants to put it in our face.
She never just says, okay.  Done.
It is always about her, what she wants and don't want.
What she likes and don't like.

Actually my in-laws don't care about gifts.
They would rather not receive anything.
To them it's too much giving.
They don't want to worry about reciprocating.
They don't need these things.

So maybe I should just drop it.
Why give her this advantage point where she plays it up.

I just feel sorry.
That she has to act this way.
With so little love.
And gives us so much pain.