(originally posted January 10, 2014)
My oldest told me that his friends don't go shopping with their parents anymore.
What kind of shopping, I asked.
Any kind of shopping, like doing groceries, or anything, he said.
Why not, I asked.
Because they want to stay at home, and do their own thing, he said.
I see.
(Our family do a lot of things together.
Many times when we shop for groceries, or anything for that matter, we go together.
It's not the popular thing to do, I know.)
I told him recently I met up with a group of girlfriends, about 15 of them.
We went around the room asking each person where they want to go in the world, and whether they would bring their kid(s).
Myself and another mom were the only two persons in the room who wanted to bring kids.
Husband then joined the conversation, and asked the kid how would he like if we go off to a nice Japanese restaurant and leave him with someone else?
What would we eat, now it's two kids asking.
Hot dogs, and pizza, we said.
We will be hungry, they said.
Not if we give you a lot, we said.
How would you like it if we leave you at home, we asked?
How would you like it, if we wanted to do our thing?
It is really about being mutual; a give and a take.
So many of my friends want to have alone time with the husband, and schedule for date nights.
They prefer to do things without the kids.
They also want to do their own thing.
Having our own time and having own space are mainstream now.
It is everywhere in couples, and family health books, etc. This is the popular thing to do.
We told our kid that we don't want that.
If we are enjoying a good meal, a good time, (or even a bad time),
We want them around.
We like having them around.
We can enjoy life and each other with them around.
These things are not mutually exclusive.
I hope they will feel the same about us.
What kind of shopping, I asked.
Any kind of shopping, like doing groceries, or anything, he said.
Why not, I asked.
Because they want to stay at home, and do their own thing, he said.
I see.
(Our family do a lot of things together.
Many times when we shop for groceries, or anything for that matter, we go together.
It's not the popular thing to do, I know.)
I told him recently I met up with a group of girlfriends, about 15 of them.
We went around the room asking each person where they want to go in the world, and whether they would bring their kid(s).
Myself and another mom were the only two persons in the room who wanted to bring kids.
Husband then joined the conversation, and asked the kid how would he like if we go off to a nice Japanese restaurant and leave him with someone else?
What would we eat, now it's two kids asking.
Hot dogs, and pizza, we said.
We will be hungry, they said.
Not if we give you a lot, we said.
How would you like it if we leave you at home, we asked?
How would you like it, if we wanted to do our thing?
It is really about being mutual; a give and a take.
So many of my friends want to have alone time with the husband, and schedule for date nights.
They prefer to do things without the kids.
They also want to do their own thing.
Having our own time and having own space are mainstream now.
It is everywhere in couples, and family health books, etc. This is the popular thing to do.
We want our own time, and then the kids want their own time.
How can we, or anyone then complain about the growing distance that separates families?
It started somewhere.
The same message also applies to my kids.
If they want their own time, then shall we do the same?
If we are enjoying a good meal, a good time, (or even a bad time),
We want them around.
We like having them around.
We can enjoy life and each other with them around.
These things are not mutually exclusive.
I hope they will feel the same about us.
No comments:
Post a Comment