(originally April 15, 2014)
So, many weeks ago I was planning for Spring Break.
I then got an email from SI, asking if she could visit that weekend.
I said if it's the weekend, no problem.
Even if we were to go away, we would've been back before the weekend.
Then a month (?) before Spring Break, I was notified she is coming on a Wednesday.
Whaaat? Didn't she ask about the weekend?
Then she gave me the impression that she will stay with us when she lands.
Husb has also been a little busy at work, and couldn't take days off.
So from what could have been a week-long vacation plan was shortened to a two day break, to finally ending with all of us taking a stay-in-town-vacation.
Wonderful.
Then I was notified that SI won't be staying with us on Wednesday bc EH was having something at her school, and SI wants to be there to see it.
That's why she scheduled to come on Wednesday, I presume, even though she asked for the weekend.
She tried to make it sound nice and all by saying she wants to see WJ in gymnastics, and watch a movie with the kids.
This is not the first time it happened.
When she said she was coming for WR's bday, I was totally taken by surprise.
The surprise faded when I heard about the recital that EH and MH originally planned on attending.
The exact weekend.
No wonder.
Sigh.
I know she is trying, but it sure doesn't feel too great to be always given what's left of her time and energy. It seems like MH and EH have preferential treatment all the time. They are always first on the list.
I know what I'm saying is a little harsh, and I am sorry for saying that.
It's just that sometime I do wonder which one is better, to try 40% or not to try at all? Maybe the expectation will be much lower if she doesn't even bother to try? At least then we would not be so downtrodden' then we wouldn't have the heart to feel sorry for ourselves.
Anyway, when SI said last night that she won't come until Thursdayd morning, I got mad.
Really, really upset.
I told her previously we are here both Wednesday and Thursday, and she chose the latter instead.
Then she had the gall of asking about WJ's class and movie.
I was so upset, and in my head I had all these curt, terse one-lines that I want to inflict upon them.
"Oh, take your time. What's the hurry?"
I really do not care to see any of them.
I wanted to tell husb that he should take the day off bc I cannot face them coming.
Was I wrong to be upset?
I felt like we were given scraps and leftovers.
We get it only when they are done.
It's always about what the other side wanted, required, and demanded.
We, on the other hand, deserve nothing.
I was thinking along these lines and came up with the heading.
Like, "no more scraps, please!" or "we don't want your leftover," etc.
Then it was one thing after another this morning.
I felt dizzy and couldn't get up.
Then I heard a loud crash. WY broke my lamp. This is after I told him for the nth time not to play with the cushions and not to run around at home.
Then I came downstairs and saw husband's text request for prayer.
Then it was my sister's prayer request.
Then WJ bumped herself bad against the shower glass.
It was becoming a real bad day.
Those things made me pause.
Was I doing something wrong?
Then I read about the prophetic message that a Pastor W had for my sister.
He recounted the things that she did that made the Lord pleased (like singing and talking to Him in the car, like seeking His face all the time).
I then wondered if I were to go to a session like that, what would the Pastor see?
Me and my anger issues?
Do I spend enough time with Him? Do I seek Him in my heart?
So I relented.
There are more important things in life.
I emailed back, and try to be as nice as I could.
No snarl remarks, nor side jabs.
Just telling them what my plans are, and letting it be.
and letting it go.
I then got an email from SI, asking if she could visit that weekend.
I said if it's the weekend, no problem.
Even if we were to go away, we would've been back before the weekend.
Then a month (?) before Spring Break, I was notified she is coming on a Wednesday.
Whaaat? Didn't she ask about the weekend?
Then she gave me the impression that she will stay with us when she lands.
Husb has also been a little busy at work, and couldn't take days off.
So from what could have been a week-long vacation plan was shortened to a two day break, to finally ending with all of us taking a stay-in-town-vacation.
Wonderful.
Then I was notified that SI won't be staying with us on Wednesday bc EH was having something at her school, and SI wants to be there to see it.
That's why she scheduled to come on Wednesday, I presume, even though she asked for the weekend.
She tried to make it sound nice and all by saying she wants to see WJ in gymnastics, and watch a movie with the kids.
This is not the first time it happened.
When she said she was coming for WR's bday, I was totally taken by surprise.
The surprise faded when I heard about the recital that EH and MH originally planned on attending.
The exact weekend.
No wonder.
Sigh.
I know she is trying, but it sure doesn't feel too great to be always given what's left of her time and energy. It seems like MH and EH have preferential treatment all the time. They are always first on the list.
I know what I'm saying is a little harsh, and I am sorry for saying that.
It's just that sometime I do wonder which one is better, to try 40% or not to try at all? Maybe the expectation will be much lower if she doesn't even bother to try? At least then we would not be so downtrodden' then we wouldn't have the heart to feel sorry for ourselves.
Anyway, when SI said last night that she won't come until Thursdayd morning, I got mad.
Really, really upset.
I told her previously we are here both Wednesday and Thursday, and she chose the latter instead.
Then she had the gall of asking about WJ's class and movie.
I was so upset, and in my head I had all these curt, terse one-lines that I want to inflict upon them.
"Oh, take your time. What's the hurry?"
I really do not care to see any of them.
I wanted to tell husb that he should take the day off bc I cannot face them coming.
Was I wrong to be upset?
I felt like we were given scraps and leftovers.
We get it only when they are done.
It's always about what the other side wanted, required, and demanded.
We, on the other hand, deserve nothing.
I was thinking along these lines and came up with the heading.
Like, "no more scraps, please!" or "we don't want your leftover," etc.
Then it was one thing after another this morning.
I felt dizzy and couldn't get up.
Then I heard a loud crash. WY broke my lamp. This is after I told him for the nth time not to play with the cushions and not to run around at home.
Then I came downstairs and saw husband's text request for prayer.
Then it was my sister's prayer request.
Then WJ bumped herself bad against the shower glass.
It was becoming a real bad day.
Those things made me pause.
Was I doing something wrong?
Then I read about the prophetic message that a Pastor W had for my sister.
He recounted the things that she did that made the Lord pleased (like singing and talking to Him in the car, like seeking His face all the time).
I then wondered if I were to go to a session like that, what would the Pastor see?
Me and my anger issues?
Do I spend enough time with Him? Do I seek Him in my heart?
So I relented.
There are more important things in life.
I emailed back, and try to be as nice as I could.
No snarl remarks, nor side jabs.
Just telling them what my plans are, and letting it be.
and letting it go.
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